It's finally here (sort of)...
This past Friday (December 20th, 2019) was officially my last day with my employer. While it was a great run over the past 10 years, the time had come to move on and do what I had always wanted to do— create art. I had been hesitant about sharing too much information on either social media or my website. Even though I had given advanced noticed to management, I still wanted to keep things more private until the time got nearer.
The photo on this blog post is a screenshot from a countdown app that I had been using since June. It seemed like in a blink of an eye, it went from 180+ days, to 50 days, and finally last day. To say that the experience isn’t surreal would be one of the greatest lies of all time. I left behind a lot of great coworkers, but we’re still all friends and always will be. The pressure of life in IT (Information Technology) can be overwhelming. There are no breaks— vacation is just a word. There aren’t standard hours— when something is broken or needs upgraded, it’s done after-hours. Lunch break is when others have downtime, so it’s when you’re expected to work. If something major were to happen, for instance email were to go offline, your whole life is suspended until things are back online (day/night/weekends/holidays/etc). Burn out is all too real, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I deserved better, and I wasn’t asking enough of myself when it came to who I really wanted to be. The IT field can destroy souls, but it can be easy to hang around because it typically pays very well, but that pay is only in the form of dollars. I should have realized it sooner, but fortunately I realized it soon enough. No matter the pay, nothing is more important than your health, your happiness, your family, or being who you really want to be.
I plan on taking a few weeks off to decompress and try to comprehend what is going on. I keep looking around for that work phone, wondering why it hasn’t rang, or why I’m not receiving an email about something not working. I’ve become conditioned like some sort of poor lab rat. It’s actually pretty pathetic when you stop and think about it. I can uncondition myself though, it’s just going to take some time. Once I start creating and painting, I’ll find that purpose that I was after and that mindset of ‘what’s broken, or what is going to break next’ will soon be gone.
Before I sign off with this short post, I want to thank all of the friends that have already given me leads or helped put me in touch with others that I may have never met. You have gone above and beyond, and trust me when I say this— I’ll remember this forever and will find you and repay you for your kindness one day.
Feel free to sign up to the newsletter on my website (poesoulstudio.com). With one life behind me and the new one just getting started, I’m going to be creating a lot, so I’ll be adding to the site as things are complete. Don’t worry, I won’t SPAM you, it will just be about new things that I create. Take care & happy holidays…
Namaste,
Patrick